Sometimes,

It feels like trying to lift heavy objects with eye lashes, or attempting to drag something huge through thick melted chocolate by a thread. Whatever it actually is, you know it’ll snap easily. I’ve been alone recently. Like actually alone, not the whole cut yourself off from everyone alone because when you do that solitude isn’t actually achieved. My fingers feel weaker, and slippery. I tried holding your heart for longer than I should have. You’d think my lesson would have been learned after a month of silence, but your promise of home weighed down each individual rib in a comforting sort of sadness. I don’t know what happened, where I lost it, but I looked down and what was left in my palms was nothing but old wounds reopened and salted. I feel like those thick green leaves that had started to bud and are now sinking with the weight of that snow. It looked so calm and clean, but what I realized is that frozen water is still water and whether it’s fast or still you can still drown. I tried for a while to just drink it, but my stomach is full and I’m left with a brain freeze that won’t go away.
Maybe its just midnight thoughts.
Maybe you didn’t mean to.
I’m shivering though, and it’d be nice if you could at least state that you were there. I can still feel you, whether you admit to it or not.